So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
