i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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