Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
