Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
