Your face is a jimmy john
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize