If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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