I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
