I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
