I think this baby is eyeing my beer
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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