My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
