ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
