It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
