Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
