I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
