I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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