Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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