my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
How does one acquire holy water?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Holy shit dude........stairs
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
