Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
