How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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