just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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