the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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