I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
