what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
These People Are So Awkward You’ll Get Embarrassed
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
These People Encountered Celebrities in Bizarrely Normal Places
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.