i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks