based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.