I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Randomize
