your thong is hanging out like whoa
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.