Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.