new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
