yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
