Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
