I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
