I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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