How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
