my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
