Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
