I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
