If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
