So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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