It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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