lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i permit you to call me
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
