She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize