Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
