people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
