Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize