Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday

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(845): View more from New York

oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.

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(480): View more from Arizona

I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same

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(517): View more from Michigan

this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year

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(251): View more from Alabama

So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.

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(+81): View more from

Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me

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(845): View more from New York

Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..

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(505): View more from New Mexico

I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence

(1-505): View more from New Mexico

That sucks

(505): View more from New Mexico

It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!

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(770): View more from Georgia

i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?

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