Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
