Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
