I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
