i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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