Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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