I will die if light touches me.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
