Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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