To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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