The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
