My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
