this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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