Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
