I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
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I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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