I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
