EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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