thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
