just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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