Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
