omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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