im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
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His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
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Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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