after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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