Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
