There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
