I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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